"Anything you can do i can do better. I can do anything better than you"

I'd like to start my critique of one of the most half hazard top ten lists i've ever read with my favorite quote that describes the female sex.

In the movie as good as it gets, a woman stops famous author Melvin Udall in the hallway and asks "Melvin, how do you write women so well?" Melvin pauses, enters the elevator and replies, "I think of a man, and then i take away reason and accountability." After a gasp from the woman, the elevator closes.

Reasons 10, 9, 1: According to tina's post, the female orgasm is cleaner, more discrete, and easier to duplicate than the male orgasm. First of all, in reason number ten you blatantly contradict yourself: you describe a woman who will masturbate anywhere but then say that women have discretion: flicking the bick under a jcrew sweater while reading history texts on the fourth floor of the library, isn't the definition of discretion by any means. I would say that in general women are more reserved when it comes having their orgasms despite the fact that they have the ability to do it across campus without the "mess" that is the end of a male orgasm. Despite the end result that can be cleaned up by one sheet of bounty, i'd still rather have the shameless "i'll do it anywhere" attitude towards orgasms over the reserved "their too many people around" attitude. The multiple orgasm is a clear benefit. I cant top that one but I would say that on average, the female orgasm is generally more fickle than multiple.

Reason 8: We can sit and tuck just as easily as you can sit. The difference is that we can stand and pee on phones, doors, toilet seats, other people, snow, steps, cars, trees or whatever other object is in our way when we are black out drunk and ready to take a leak. And if you want to say that this ability makes us gross, I'd counter with the fact that I have seen plenty of women squat between two cars in a parking lot.

Reason 7: Blue balls is a lie men created to make women feel guilty for not putting out. While there is discomfort after a long make out session that didn't finish with a happier ending, its more the pain that we just dropped $80 bucks on dinner and have to take care of ourselves that bothers us.

Reason 6: Best reason you put out there. I'll give you this one. If i could wear a halter top and get showered in free beer and hook up opportunities every time i went out, I would too.

Reason 5: See the quote at the beginning of post. Also, I'd also like to add a quote from George Carlin "Women are crazy and men are stupid. The number one reason that women are crazy? Men are stupid." Men are just too simple for women to handle. They want to believe that we have the same irrational thoughts floating through our head, but for the most part we are just taking everything in, trying not to say something stupid, and hoping that last fart didn't smell to bad.

Reason 4: Excellent point, but these things do start to sag once you hit 40.

Reason 3: Again another good point. Anyone who saw me shove tony's phone down my pants on Saturday knows this is a fact: women just understand social graces better than men.

Reason 2: Lets just face it, women are more attractive than men: They have better physical features, they are well groomed, they smell nice, and they have a natural sexiness that men just don't. If women were really better than men, they'd know to be attracted to other women.

Reason 1: Already refuted.


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