Out here in LaLa Land, sports fans are juiced up. They’re scrambling to Tivo every Sportscenter, Cold Pizza, and Baseball Tonight episode that features their Dodgers’ historic win the other night. The way that game played out was unbelievable, and the fact that it occurred in September, with huge playoff implications, means that Disney has probably already ordered some screenwriters to pen their summer of 2009, sports comeback movie blockbuster – based on a true story.
You're down 9-5 in the bottom of the ninth and your guys jack four back-to-back homers to tie the game? Only to give up a run in the top of the tenth? But then you have the perpetually injured Nomar smack a two-run walkoff? I heard that while hosting "Loveline" on KROQ, Dr. Drew was simultaneously watching the game. So in the middle of consoling a sexually confused caller ("I have heard of that happening before, you shouldn't be too worried---"), he would spontaneously break out a gleefully unrepressed ---"OH MY GOD!!!"
For the next decade, if the Dodgers are ever within four runs come the bottom of the ninth, do you think any one of their fans will head for the exit or turn off their TVs? Will any Dodger fan say "it's impossible"... will any fan even think it?
This paragraph has been tailored to reflect a 613 moment (which actually took place in Garden 27-3-7)
Okay, let me put it to you in terms we can all relate to... Say you're playing beirut against some very formidable opponents. You've got five cups left to hit and they just sunk their final shot. So now you and your partner need to rally. It's a long way back, but you can do it togethe--- your partner misses on his first shot. You need to sink all five cups in a row. It's a daunting task and you wonder how many people have ever done this before. Let's say you do the improbable: you claw your way back and coolly sink shot after shot. In the future, would you ever doubt yourself in that situation? Down 5, by yourself, no room for a mistake, no second chances… No problem! You’ve done it before, and you know that it’s possible.
Of course there is a flipside to all the joy, confidence, and optimism that sport breeds in its players, and in its fans. As Philly fans, we know there is also despair, hesitation, and skepticism. There is a nauseating feeling that creeps down your throat and into your lungs when you see your team aimlessly stumbling along; no longer looking to add to its score or even apply any sort of defensive pressure… content to wait out the clock and then mosey on over to the locker-room. It’s as if your team were the big-breasted blond in an 80s horror film who just had sex with her boyfriend and is now heading to the bathroom to freshen up, but of course the killer is waiting for her behind the shower curtain. You see her heading towards that door and you know exactly what comes next…
The last Eagles game I attended at the Vet ended in a 25-24 defeat at the hands of the Arizona Cardinals. What’s even more embarrassing is the fact that Jake the Snake Plummer
led the charge. We were up 21-0 at the end of the first quarter. We were up 24-6 at halftime. We were up two scores with little time left. We lost!This was early on in the ’99 season (the opening game in fact). It was McNabb’s first year starting and Reid’s second year at the helm. Even now, 7 years later, while sitting on a lonely bar stool in a packed Eagles bar down on Venice Beach, thoughts of that dismal day floated around in my brain. I knew that the improbable (blowing that big of a lead in the 4th quarter to a divisional rival) wasn’t impossible. Just like how Dodgers fans will think that a 9-5 game in the ninth inning is still within reach, I knew that a 24-7 game going into the 4th quarter was certainly not a done deal. I’d seen it happen before. I knew it was possible.
Without delving into the excruciating details of the game, I will tell you that the worst part of the entire experience for me was hearing our section of the bar (the best, most raucous spot in the whole place) slowly deflate and become eerily silent. As our collective crests were falling, a 4 foot 8 inch toothless Hispanic man wearing a white t-shirt and a Dodgers hat took the opportunity to grow louder and louder. He could be heard cheering on the Giants in broken English; not specific players, just the team itself. It’s doubtful whether or not he even knew any of their names. At one point (during an officials’ review) he did call out “Give it up Reid!” (which was weird because it was an OFFICIALS’ review), so I suppose he might have known a name or two. But my point is that, this guy obviously had no emotional stake in the game. He wasn't a Giants fan. Who knows if he was even a football fan. Here we were, 30-40 transplanted Philadelphians living on the West Coast, donning our jerseys and our Eagle green, cheering with everything we have after every play… and along comes this schmuck with the plain white-t, over-sized baseball cap, and toothless grin. As soon as we got quiet, he got vocal, and I got worried. Because these are exactly the kind of guys who wait around your table in Vegas for 20-30 minutes, never playing a hand or a roll. While your grinding it out at the roulette table, struggling to stay afloat, they finally pick one spin to lay down $100, and they always win. You feel like these guys have an extra sense that aids them in all their wagers, they definitely know something we don’t… and so when one of them makes a bet against you, you know that you’re in trouble. And last Sunday, we were in big trouble. I blame the Hispanic midget with the Dodgers hat who ruined my viewing experience with his monetarily-motivated cheers and his poor hygiene… and for that matter, I blame Dodgers fans. They get to be happy and optimistic. We have to wallow and wait for disaster.
On that note, I’ll be heading up to San Fran this Sunday morning to watch the Birds topple the Niners. I know the tone of this e-mail sounded bleak, but the season is still young and I will always remain naive to the despair that awaits me as a Philly fan, even when I can clearly see it coming. LET'S GO EAGLES!
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