Party Themes

The year is winding down and we still haven't thrown a kick-ass Van Wilder style pool party.

There certainly are a few risks to consider, so I might as well address them off the bat. There always exist the possibility that the neighbors might not appreciate the noise and could report us. However, the residents of the two houses directly below us seem cool, and with the windows closed it'd be hard to imagine the house way up the hill from us catching wind of anything. The house behind us would probably be our biggest problem, but I'm sure we could address those folks before holding the shindig.

But aside from neighbors, we might have to worry about guests. This past Saturday, some of us witnessed what can happen when some drunk freshmen dudes show up and get beligerent... Shady starts swinging and the next hour resembles something out of a Dane Cook sketch - "I was sitting on the couch and I just saw someone hit the floor." "Oh really, I heard a noise first and then I turned and saw a big pile." Then Limmer happily reports to the crowd, "I talked with those black dudes in the corner. They got our backs. They're pretty sweet." Now granted, I don't think any of us would invite some dudes that we're not friends with to our parties, but they might tag along with someone else or just work their way in. It happened to us in Los Angeles. Bearing that in mind, I'm sure we'll be careful concerning who we tell, who we let in, and how we handle the situation.

All things considered, the benefits of throwing an awesome f#cking party certainly outweigh the potential costs. And since hosting sweet parties is one of our goals for this final semester, I figured I'd toss out a few ideas (some of which we've already discussed).

Boxed Wine and Nachos with Cheese - A new, cheap college student, take on a classic white-collar party. I'll be bringing back up a giant tub of Cheez Whiz (melted cheddar) in four weeks. I could grab an extra tub for the party.

Toga Party - Although it is a college staple, I've only attended one of these during my collegiate career and it was on a Tuesday night. If we go this route, we gotta wait until everyone is good and drunk, and then play "Shout" by Otis Day and the Knights.

CEOs and Corporate Ho's - Guys wear suits and girls show off their bras. It's all very professional.

7th Grade Party - Everyone's parents drop them off. We order pizza, drink Hawaiian punch, and play "Truth or Dare." We listen to a whole lot of "Hootie and the Blowfish."

Boxers Party - Dress like Sam when he's getting ready to take a shit. That's how we could market it.

Casino Night - Obviously it'd be a lot of work, but it would definitely be fun if we could pull it off. Would the currency be drinks, 613 dollars, or blow jobs? We could have everyone playing with/for nippers of hard liquor.

Holiday Party - I'm interested in starting our own holiday, which should entail a party of some sort. This idea is still in its infant stages.

South of the Border - We listen to reggaeton and dress up like Mexican dudes before we blow our whistles and pour alcohol down peoples' throats.

Let me know what sort of themes you guys might be thinking about. Whatever we decide, I'll write Dan Shott and have him design some graphics for us.