Who sucks more? Bill Belichick vs. Karl Rove

The hard part about this question is that they are practically the same person. Both of them have cool nicknames to show how smart they are: Boy Wonder for Belichick (dating back to his days as one of the youngest coaches in the league) and Boy Genius for Rove (who was also called Turd Blossom by his boss). Both of them grew up steeped in their future professions. Rove was reading immense military and political history books when he was a child, Belichick was scouting games with his dad when he was 11. Both of them are really fucking smart and have a win-at-all-costs attitude, whether it's sacrificing Ted Johnson's memory or Valerie Plame's career - they do what it takes to get the W. That includes spying on their opponents. Rove famously bugged the headquarters of his Democratic opponents in Texas, Belichick videotapes opposing coaches' signals.

Both have turned around previously incompetent organizations and rebuilt them in their image - under Rove's guidance the neoconservative arm of the Republican party stormed from oblivion into complete control of the country. Belichick has turned Tony Eason's warriors into, well, the Pats. Yet both have experienced crushing failure at the highest levels, for Rove it's the War in Iraq and the 2006 elections, for Belichick it was Cleveland and the Jets - jury's still out on whose train wreck was worse.

But it's in that failure that we see who sucks more. And the answer is clearly Karl Rove. After bombing with the Browns and Jets, Belichick built the Pats. When the Pats failed last year he went out and surrounded himself with the most competent supporting cast available. Rove, on the other hand, has crumbled after his first real failure and his career as a chief political architect is probably over. Socially, they both suck - but Rove sucks a little more. Sure, Belichick broke up at least one marriage and then paid the women a massive allowance (presumably to keep quiet about it). But there's definitely no video of MC Belichick floating around YouTube:



Yeah, he really definitely sucks more, but it's close.