Horace's Wife, Anybody interested?

http://forum.gorillamask.net/showpost.php?p=922036&postcount=106

Reasons We Miss Bry

• His sexy tatoo
• His up to the minute Mets information
• His hot girlfriend is never around anymore
• The way he cuts my hair
• His love of cheap beer and drinking it
• The original captain of 24 not being here to tell girls not to ask questions until commercial breaks
• His season of undeclared
• His rugged good looks
• No one to eiffel tower my G.F. with
• Our house needs a hockey fan
• Fetus head just isnt the same anymore
• He is the best pitcher in the house

By Sam and Chris with help from Jared

Gas Bill

I took care of the gas bill and the total was $479.92 so I think that's $60 a person. Just get it to me whenever because if you don't, I know where you live, just keep that in mind.

Zoe Pal's Wet Dream

Ford Ka's evil twin - Funny commercials - banned commercials, priceless funny ads - Gag Report

This video is amazing

Sadly we know who this kid is

Kelly Clarkson music video

Some Homebrewed Chuck Norris Facts...what do you think?

When mortals fart it's called gas. Chuck Norris' farts turn into stars.

Birds don't migrate because of the seasons. They migrate away from Chuck Norris while he runs laps. Around the world.

Sometimes Chuck Norris' penis detaches and runs around in the woods. We call it Bigfoot.

When Chuck Norris plays Frisbee he plays by himself. With UFOs.

The last thing Terri Schiavo saw was Chuck Norris unzipping his pants for a blow job.

Little known fact: Chuck Norris doesn't get AIDS, AIDS gets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once cured an entire African village of AIDS by having sex with all the afflicted patients. Unfortunately, all of the AIDS patients died after the force of Chuck Norris ejaculating inside them made them spontaneously explode.

More Party Ideas

Cops and Robbers,
Naughty Nighties, or BLT (Boxers, Lingerie, or Towel)
Pirate Party (Arrrrrrrrr)
Anything but a cup party (people cant drink out of cups or cans)
Drink in Pink
Guys in ties, Girls in pearls

Either way I think we need to come up with something soon so that we can make sure we have people participating in it

Our Future is Written on the Wall

After weeks of plotting and planning and being told not to go back to work this afternoon because apparently I looked as if I was about to keel over this morning, I have completed a comprehensive list of our, 613 Hudson's, over 45 goals and aspirations for this, our final semester at Ithaca College.

This all encompassing list is masterfully organized with each point in a corresponding color:

Purple = PARTIES
Green = DRINKING
Red = WINNING
Orange = FOOD
Brown = TRIPS
Blue = EVERYTHING ELSE

Here is hoping that we are able to accomplish a sizable chunk of the goals that we have set out for ourselves that range from "Winning a 1st Place Spot on a Nude Photo Hunt" to having a "Nacho Cheese and Boxed Wine Party" to making College, TV, and a 2nd Movie Power Hours to "Dumping Our Nagging Girlfriends" to "Eating for 10 Straight Hours" and to "The Ultimate Victory Lap"

Cheers to you, Senior Year.

What to do about Coco?

I chose the name Coco Crisp in order to honor the speedy and exciting outfielder, plus, he's on the Indians. Well, he was on the Indians. Now I'm stuck with a dilemna. In case you missed SammyC's post, Crisp is headed to the Red Sox and I'm not sure what to do about this blogger name. I could just change it to Grady Sizemore. But Coco has a certain appeal, and I certainly don't mind if my blogs indirectly draw attention to the Sox.
I could also change my name to '81 points is for pussies.'
With two hours left at Judicial Affairs I'll have plenty of time to think it over. what do you think?

Blackout Juice Revisited

The great thing about the juice is that it just keeps on giving.
On Saturday morning it gave me a headache and the ability to become sick just by looking at food. And now, it's giving me new anxious experiences every day. Yesterday, for example, Jenna and Rachel came up to me and shouted "Munchies!" hahaha. As if that were a joke I were supposed to get. Recognizing my blank look they stopped, laughed some more, and said "because of friday, when you were running around the house eating munchies and shouting?" "Nope, I don't remember. And I don't really believe that happened."
Just now I found a broken Dorito plastered to my pants with Cheetos cheese. Thank you black out juice.
In Textor this morning someone I recognize from Rand's pictures of Friday smiled and said hello to me. I remember talking to her on Friday, but now realize that I have no idea what I said. Later today I have class with another such person. I can't wait for them to say, 'What was that funny thing we were talking about on Friday?' or 'Thanks for telling me that secret, I really feel like it cemented our friendship.
Thank you black out juice. I can't wait to see what else you have in store for me.

Party Themes

The year is winding down and we still haven't thrown a kick-ass Van Wilder style pool party.

There certainly are a few risks to consider, so I might as well address them off the bat. There always exist the possibility that the neighbors might not appreciate the noise and could report us. However, the residents of the two houses directly below us seem cool, and with the windows closed it'd be hard to imagine the house way up the hill from us catching wind of anything. The house behind us would probably be our biggest problem, but I'm sure we could address those folks before holding the shindig.

But aside from neighbors, we might have to worry about guests. This past Saturday, some of us witnessed what can happen when some drunk freshmen dudes show up and get beligerent... Shady starts swinging and the next hour resembles something out of a Dane Cook sketch - "I was sitting on the couch and I just saw someone hit the floor." "Oh really, I heard a noise first and then I turned and saw a big pile." Then Limmer happily reports to the crowd, "I talked with those black dudes in the corner. They got our backs. They're pretty sweet." Now granted, I don't think any of us would invite some dudes that we're not friends with to our parties, but they might tag along with someone else or just work their way in. It happened to us in Los Angeles. Bearing that in mind, I'm sure we'll be careful concerning who we tell, who we let in, and how we handle the situation.

All things considered, the benefits of throwing an awesome f#cking party certainly outweigh the potential costs. And since hosting sweet parties is one of our goals for this final semester, I figured I'd toss out a few ideas (some of which we've already discussed).

Boxed Wine and Nachos with Cheese - A new, cheap college student, take on a classic white-collar party. I'll be bringing back up a giant tub of Cheez Whiz (melted cheddar) in four weeks. I could grab an extra tub for the party.

Toga Party - Although it is a college staple, I've only attended one of these during my collegiate career and it was on a Tuesday night. If we go this route, we gotta wait until everyone is good and drunk, and then play "Shout" by Otis Day and the Knights.

CEOs and Corporate Ho's - Guys wear suits and girls show off their bras. It's all very professional.

7th Grade Party - Everyone's parents drop them off. We order pizza, drink Hawaiian punch, and play "Truth or Dare." We listen to a whole lot of "Hootie and the Blowfish."

Boxers Party - Dress like Sam when he's getting ready to take a shit. That's how we could market it.

Casino Night - Obviously it'd be a lot of work, but it would definitely be fun if we could pull it off. Would the currency be drinks, 613 dollars, or blow jobs? We could have everyone playing with/for nippers of hard liquor.

Holiday Party - I'm interested in starting our own holiday, which should entail a party of some sort. This idea is still in its infant stages.

South of the Border - We listen to reggaeton and dress up like Mexican dudes before we blow our whistles and pour alcohol down peoples' throats.

Let me know what sort of themes you guys might be thinking about. Whatever we decide, I'll write Dan Shott and have him design some graphics for us.

G.O.B.

Will Arnett on Conan

Found it and blogged it.

Simmons on 24

Q: I think I was actually more upset over the assassination of former President David Palmer on "24" last night than I would have been if our actual president would have been assassinated. It was like I lost a member of my own family. Maybe I'm just screwed up, but I don't think so. Here is my question: If you forced every registered voter in America to watch seasons 1-4 on DVD, and convinced Dennis Haysbert to legally change his name to David Palmer, don't you think he would win in a landslide in 2008? I have bounced this question off several people and Palmer has every vote so far, and most would have voted for him over Bush and Kerry.
-- Ryan Desmond, Miami

SG: Obviously I'm with you. But while we're here, some readers were upset that I revealed the "24" plot twist in Wednesday's column because they hadn't watched the show yet. So here's my question ... how can you call yourself a "24" fan and not watch the season premiere of "24" right when it airs? Are you kidding me? Would you save the Super Bowl on TiVo and watch it later? What about Game 7 of the NBA Finals? When "24" came on the tube Sunday night, my baby daughter could have had a diaper covered in six pounds of poop and I would have waited until 10 o'clock to change her. I'm not apologizing for this one. You had three days to watch it -- unless you were trapped in a well or something, there's no excuse. That's like saying that I shouldn't have discussed the Bettis Fumble.

Q: In honor of Jack Bauer's triumphant return, I demand that we all start using the phase "Flank Two Position" as a part of our everyday language, of course meaning "in trouble" or "under duress." The uses are limitless. For example: "If 80-year-old GM Marv Levy decides to become 80-year-old GM/head coach Marv Levy, the Bills organization will be in Flank Two Position for the next five years. Or, "I just had my bachelor party in Vegas and blew my honeymoon money on a hooker that gave me the clap. Now my marriage plans are in Flank Two Position." Can you please help spread the word?
-- Matt, Somerville, Mass.

SG: I can't ... I don't want to upset the 10 people who haven't watched "24" yet. Let's give them another six months to catch up. It's tough to carve 90 minutes out of a day to watch a recorded program. People are busy.

Here is the entire Mailbag

Monopoly

Rand Geiber won the house's first game of Monopoly after setting up three houses on each red property, and extracting nearly 700 dollars from each poor soul who landed on his mean streets. I declared bankruptcy first, and except responsibility for Rands domination, having traded him the final piece of the trio he needed to start development. Chris (managing Tinalolina's dwindling fortune) was next and Limmer followed shortly thereafter.

Theo is back...kind of..

This is an good article about the theo saga

He is so devilishly handsome.

BostonHerald.com - Boston Red Sox: Sox reach deal for CF Crisp

BostonHerald.com - Boston Red Sox: Sox reach deal for CF Crisp

big news for sox fans in 613

Yo Guys

Glad to hear u guys are having a good time, and that chris still hates people who has fun. Hopefully "The List" will be ready and posted up soon. I am gonna see if I can steal my moms video camera for a when I come back to document some more of the semester. VPH2 has gotta be getting done soon as well as the ideas for the topics of the 613 PH. I am very disapointed to hear that monday night trivia sucks now. I am all about the Uber victory lap rand described, that will be pretty sweet. We also gotta find out when the softball tourny is cause chris has been bothering me a lot to start practicing for it. You guys have no idea how lucky u are to be back at school instead of waking up at 6 every day for an hour and a half commute just so see old fat peoples balls and asses hanging out everywhere, and have the old men lift up their gowns and ask if their cathader is in right, amazing they always seem to do it right as I am knelt down infront of them putting their shoes on, just amazing.
Just gonna toss this idea out there, how about no body drinks untill feb 11th, ya know like a dry house, I think its a pretty good idea.

Take care guys, talk to ya soon...... I vote for Sammy's

Blackout Juice

The night pretty much went as expected and advertised: five out of nine men (if you count chris who didn't finish his growler) participating in the blackout juice experiment puked. After taking at least an hour setting up the living room for the cameras (gy's I believe) we clanked our jugs together and got to the drinking. Its incredible how quickly the blackout juice hits you. Within a pint, your head is already anticipating the insane night you will surely not remember.

I remember very little of the night because as I said before the beer worked as advertised and I did black out. What I do remember is.....well I don't really remember anything, but I do remember trying to finish my growler before limmer, failing and skipping out to the back porch to puke five minutes later.

Dre, Lim, Tony and Rand were the only people able to make it out of the house after the blackout juice. Tony and Lim made it to the bars for a few shots of jaeger and Dre and Rand wandered to prospect, took some lewd photos of Ithaca High school seniors, and went on down to the bars.

Chris, failing to finish his growler and opting to remain moderately sober and bitter, elected to stay in his room for the rest of the evening and rehearse his one man play entitled "I hate fun and the people who have it"

After he finished the growler (at least 10 min after the real men) Jared received two taco bell burritos from his super hero girlfriend, decided to pull the trigger rather than wake up in the middle of the night, and passed out.

Other random facts about the night:

We played dre's board game apples to apples and broke out his $7 bottle of VSOP

Mark passed out on the living room floor and puked in his sleep.

In the morning Lim woke up to a Rand bomb

I ate your chips Rand. Now what do you have to say about that.

Collegetown Pizza is much better and I'm very exicted for Black out Juice.

Best Wednesday Ever

Wednesday night was pretty...pretty....pretty...good.

Me, Jared, Lim, Rand, Tony, and Tony's roommate started the night at Dunbar's with at least three rounds of group therapy. Nerdwin, her South American lover Pato, and Kimba arrived shortly thereafter. Unlike the last trip to Dunbar's that led to Jared chugging a glass of kamakziis, and staggering home alone -- the amateurism of the night climaxing with the desertion of Lim in college town -- this visit was not a traveshamockery.

Five of us played an excellent game of photo hunt lasting somewhere from 6 to 10 photos: it was a dollar well spent. Our time at Dunbars ended after a rousing singalong to bohemian Rhapsody, and Kim's complaints to go to another bar, a pattern that would rear its ugly head again.

Johnny O's was as good as I have seen it during my many experiences in college town. The room was not oppressively hot, and the DJ wasn't playing music that would incite an 8th grade style grind train. You can only play California Love and 112's Anywhere so many times before it gets old. Tonight was different. We entered minutes before the best Don't Stop Believing redition of my life. The entire bar was cheering for the small town girl. Then, the DJ kept the intensity high, opting for what Rand Geiger calls the Best Singalong Song of our generation-- Counting Crow's Mr. Jones. At this point in the evening, my memory becomes hazy. We went to college town pizza and I called a cab. As the original group of six started leaving CTP for the cab, Lim made a fateful proposition to Katie "You guys can join our cab if you give me just one bite of your slice of pizza." The night was downhill from there. Katie, Kimbawhore, and Pato pilled in the van, and within 45 seconds of driving Kim demanded that the driver stop the car so that she could go look for her cellphone. After about a minute of commotion she realized that it was in her purse.

A few quick final notes:

In the cab Kim asked me to find out how much extra the cab ride would be from 613 to her house to which I replied "Its not going to cost you anything because you are getting out here"

When I saw an unnamed ex-girlfriend for the first time this semester who had just returned from Birthright, I yelled, "look its my little Israelite"

Holdin Out

Serisouly, who can ever remember those stupid numbers after the new X-Box and the market is saturated with those stupid Stations of Play when really they are all just the same damn console.

Screw them all.

Me? I'm gonna pass on all those been-there-done-that-nothing-really-too-new xeoroxs and wait for...
THE REVOLUTION

Home on a Wed night

1st Wed. night of second semester of senior year or also known as last semster of college ever yet I decided to not go to the bars with the rest of the housemates.

Sat home and read, watched some tv and basically chilled out.

Would the bars have been fun?
No doubt.

Was this relaxing and worth it?
No doubt.

Yet here is to wildin' out next Wed.

True Facts about Chuck Norris

For more on the Chuck facts check out these links:

Chuck speaking about the lists on the Tony Danza show

Chuck's official reponse

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't @#%$ with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Ithaca Beer Company: Seasonal Brews

Ithaca Beer Company: Seasonal Brews

On Friday afternoon the members of 613 are going to travel to the Ithaca brewery to fill up growlers with Ithaca's Double IPA, affectionately labeled by the brewers as "blackout juice".

Upon return to the green castle on Hudson street, 613 will be restricted to the living room until every potent jug of juice is empty.

Senior Year: first trivia night

Who has hosted SNL a record 13 times?

What is the highest populated Muslim nation?

What bar in Ithaca use to have a fun trivia night before they hired two indie music guys to ask lame questions, and give away fewer prizes?